Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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