Soap is not a condiment
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
