some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Welp...herpes.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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