My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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