I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
