I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
