I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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