On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
