I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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