You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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