am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
