So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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