I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
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so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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