The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
