____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
