you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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