I CAN MOONWALK!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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