I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
