just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
