So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
