Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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