She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
