How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Randomize
