That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
