Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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