Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
