you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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