That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
