I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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