So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My penis needs a shock collar
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
