bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the day after is always just damage control
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
