Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize