I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
