Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
