there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
