Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
