He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
