You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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