just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
