a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My bed smells like the plague
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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