The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There r osticjed everywhere
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
