I wish I only lived at night.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
