The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I love you. Go after that dick
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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