Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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