So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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