Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
