i need an iv and a liver transplant
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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