if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Let's paint friendship bongs
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
