Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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