I think scott just propositioned me for sex
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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