dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
