after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
