so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
