Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
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I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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