And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It's rum buckets o'clock
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
