Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
