if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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