I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
