He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
