3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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