Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
