If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
