The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
