I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
