I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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