While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
