She is in my trunk
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
