It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
