Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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