So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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