I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
