the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
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Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
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You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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