If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
