SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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