ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
