Don't make out with my wife yet
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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