my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
