sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
