he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
